My Heart has Always been with You
by ichipup
Summary: When Bryn's home is destroyed by a fire, long-time family friends, the Gamgee's, offer to take her and her family in until they find a new home. Bryn had secretly loved Sam her whole life, and when she moves in god and bad surprises ensue. SamxOC, AU.


Fire, all she could see was fire through her tear-filled eyes. _I shouldn't have left him alone to tend to the fireplace all by himself. I should have known better!_ Bryn thought as she stared into the flames from the road in front of her dwelling. She felt her little brother grip her hand tighter and she pulled him into a hug, letting him bury his tear-streaked face into her dress.

Dozens of hobbits had ran to her family's aid when they saw the flames consuming her home; attempting to put them out with buckets of water, but the fire wouldn't sizzle out. Eventually they realized this and the hobbits simply stared sadly into at the flames that consumed Bryn's former home. Her mother and father were close by, conversing with Bell and Hamfast Gamgee. Bryn was softly playing with her brother's hair and watching her parents expressions as they talked to the Gamgees; long-time close family friends.

"Bryn! Drinyn!" her mother called, waving her over.

"Come on Drin," she grasped her brother's hand; calling him by his nickname she had always given him. Drinyn's name was actually pronounced Dry-nin, but when Bryn used his nickname it rhymed with hers. Drynin smiled at the use of this name and sniffed, looking up at her with his watery eyes. Still holding his hand, she walked over to where her mother was waiting.

"Bryn," Bell pulled her into a comforting hug, her voice full of sadness and empathy. "I was just telling your parents," she paused smiling over at her mother and father ", that you are welcome to stay with us as long as you need, all of you."

"Oh... oh thank you so much!" Bryn pulled Bell back into a hug, then turned to Hamfast, commonly known as Gaffer, hugging him as well; causing a smile out of the old gardener.

"We get to stay with them?" Drynin asked, unsure if what he was hearing was good enough to be true.

"Isn't that wonderful of the Gamgee's?" her father replied with a smile, swinging up a giggling Drynin into his arms. Bryn was happy her brother could still smile even in their situation; this wasn't something a small child like him should have to deal with.

"Bryn!" She heard her name being called again, and turned to see Samwise Gamgee running towards her. "Are you okay? Is any of your family hurt? Did my parents tell you that you could stay with us?" He said all in one breath; hands placed on her shoulders, a worried expression on his face and reflected in his brown eyes. Bryn simply nodded and he pulled her into a hug. "Thank goodness, I was so worried..." But the embrace did not last; Sam quickly pulled away, a blush spreading over his round cheeks.

"Sam!" Drynin came running over. The little hobbit grabbed onto Sam's leg and looked up at him with big eyes.

"Hello Drynin," Sam smiled down at him, picking the child up in his arms.

"We will be staying with you?" Drynin asked yet again. Sam just nodded and swung him in a circle. Drynin laughed and spread his arms wide as if he were flying, before he was set back down and ran off to join his mother.

For a moment there was an awkward silence between the two, but it was broken by her mother's call. "Bryn, you can head back with Sam. Take Drinyn with you." Bryn nodded and took the sleepy little hobbit from her mother. His eyelids were drooping and she guessed that he would fall asleep before they even reached the Gamgee's dwelling.

She and Sam walked through the night in silence, with the exception of a few passing hobbits who had tried to put out the fire; telling Bryn how sorry they were, and how bad they felt. It was kind, but Bryn was tired and found their condolences rather annoying and bothersome.

"I hope you'll feel at home at our dwelling," Sam spoke softly, but even though his voice was quiet it seemed loud in the night silence. "I know you must be devastated about the fire in yours, but…"

"It's wonderful enough that you are letting us stay with you. We had nowhere else to go, and you opened your home to us." Sam's face fell at her words: _nowhere else to go_. Noticing this, she said, "But I'm glad it's you, and not some Sackville-Baggins." Sam's face brightened and he laughed, breaking the tension. Bryn smiled, she had always loved his laugh, his smile; the way his eyes crinkled but still managed to look big and wonderful. _Don't think about that now!_ She shook her head, now was not the time to think of her long, secret love for Samwise.

"Bryn?"

"Huh?" She snapped back into reality at the mention of her name.

"We're here," Sam chuckled, opening up the round door for her. She took shelter from the slight spitting rain that had started to build up, closely followed by Sam. She had been in this home so many times, she probably knew as much about it as Sam himself did.

"Where should I put him?" Bryn asked, nodding her head at a sleeping Drynin in her arms.

"Well… Your parents will probably be staying in… and you in the guest room…. and Drynin…" Sam muttered aloud to himself, counting off rooms on his fingers.

"He could stay with me," she offered; knowing Sam was running out of rooms for them to stay in in his mind. He looked relieved as he nodded and gestured for her to follow him as he started off down the hallway that led away from the kitchen. Bryn followed him down to the very end of the hall, and stopped in front of the door she knew led to one of the two spare rooms for guests. Hobbit dwellings varied in size and style; the Tooks lived in great smials, hobbit homes made to hold multiple generations all in the same dwelling. The Gamgees weren't particularly rich, but they got along. Gaffer's farming did well and Sam sometimes helped out with working at Bag End; a home owned by Frodo and Bilbo Baggins.

"You two can stay here, if that's alright," a slight blush was spreading on his cheeks, but it faded as soon as it had come.

"Thank you," Bryn smiled, heading into the room. She laid Drynin down and tucked him into one of the two beds. Surprisingly she wasn't tired, so she kissed her little brother's forehead before silently slipping out of the room to join Samwise. The two hobbits silently made their way back into the main room and planted themselves in two big comfy chairs. Bryn huddled up into the chair as much as she could to keep warm, but couldn't stop the shivers that trembled up and down her body. Noticing this, Sam rose to get some wood for the fireplace.

"No…" Bryn whispered. It was too soon after the accident, seeing the fireplace only made the memories more vivid, and the experience more terrifying. She could still feel the smoke in her lungs as she carried Drynin through the flames, ducking from falling beams and dodging flaming furniture as she ran through the wreckage.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot…" Sam whispered back, shutting the fireplace and walking over to where Bryn was huddled in her chair. Gently taking her shaking hands, he pulled her up and led her over to where he had been sitting.

"But still, you can't freeze." He pulled her down into the large chair with him, wrapping his arms protectively around her. Bryn could feel her cheeks heat up and was thankful it was too dark for him to notice. She felt herself shiver once more, and Sam's arms tighten around her in response. She gratefully snuggled closer to Sam, letting his body warm her and his embrace sooth her nerves. Just hearing his heartbeat washed away the fear she had felt and dulled the painful memories. His heartbeat… listening to the methodical thump and finally warming up, Bryn felt her eyelids grow heavy.

…

"Bryn… Bryn?" Hearing her name Bryn's eyelids fluttered open to see Drynin's face. She squinted against the bright sunlight streaming through the window before lazily sitting up and rubbing her tired eyes.

"You're awake!" Drynin smiled, hopping up onto her bed to sit beside her.

"Good observation Drin," she laughed, scooping the giggling child into her arms. "Do you know if anyone else is awake?"

"Well… Mommy and Mrs. Gamgee are making breakfast, umm… Sam is up too… and I think daddy and Mr. Gamgee are still sleeping." Drynin's face showed that he was deep in thought as he furrowed his brows, counting off names on his fingers as he went.

"Alright then, let's go check on the food," Bryn decided, rising out of bed and taking her little brother's hand as she led him to the kitchen. They were greeted with the smell of bacon and fresh baked bread when they entered the room. Bell and their mother were cooking breakfast in the kitchen and Sam was nowhere to be seen.

"Do you need help cooking?" Bryn offered.

"No thank you dear, we're just about done," Bell Gamgee smiled at her. "Here," She tossed an apple to Bryn and handed one to Drynin. "And can you take this one to Sam? He's out in the garden," she said and handed Bryn a second apple.

"Can you hold this for mommy Drynin?" Her mother gave Drynin a spatula and slipped an apron over his head. Bryn nodded to Bell, then headed out the back door to find Sam.

The sun was warm and the rain-washed sky was a pale blue. The ground was wet with morning dew and the showers from last night. _At least the rain put out the fire_, Bryn thought. She made her way towards the soft noise of humming in the back of the garden. She silently tiptoed over to where Sam was crouched, tending to a wilting flower.

"Apple?" She asked, holding the fruit in front of Sam's face. He jumped, startled a little, before laughing and taking the apple from her hands.

"Thank you," he smiled, packing the last little bit of dirt down to stabilize the plant with one hand while holding the apple in the other. Rising and brushing the dirt off his pants he took a bite of the juicy red fruit and Bryn did the same. "Um... do you want to look at the flowers a little before we eat?" Bryn nodded, happy to admire the coloured blossoms.

They walked through the garden, naming each flower as they went. Bryn said the names of the ones she could remember, and Sam filled in the others that had slipped her mind. She kneeled down to inspect a small group of flowers that were a light sky-blue in the center, faded to white in the petals, then back to a slightly brighter blue again in the tips.

"They're called heaven's mirror," Sam told her, kneeling down to her height on the ground.

"What a pretty name…" Bryn whispered, not taking her eyes off the flower that seemed beautiful, and magical in a way to her. She had never seen these before; they reminded her of the clouds she and Sam use to watch and find funny shapes in when they were little.

But her thoughts were broken by the aroma of food and her mother's call, "Breakfast is ready!" Sam stood up, then offered her his hand, helping her up from the ground before rushing inside. Bryn felt her face flush when she noticed that Sam had not yet let go of her hand as they ran to the kitchen. Only when they reached the table did he remember this too, and released their entwined fingers.

After breakfast Bryn's mother and Bell announced that they were going to the market to buy some fabric, then were going to sew some new clothes for her family to replace the ones that were lost in the fire. Drynin was going fishing with his father and Gaffer; who did not share the same fear of water his son, Samwise, did, however he refused to go swimming. Sam had to help out at Bag End today because Gaffer was going to be out fishing, so Bryn decided to just take a walk and spend some time on her own for a while.

She tried her best to avoid the main roads and left out the back of the Gamgee's garden; she didn't feel like listening to how much she was pitied by the rest of the Shire. Softly humming to herself, she made her way through the low grassy hills with no particular destination and in no particular hurry.

"I wonder if there are any more of those flowers around…" Bryn thought aloud to herself, stepping carefully through the fields that now had bunches of flowers scattered around. Careful not to step on any, she kept an eye out for Heaven's Mirror as she travelled through the field. However, there was no sign of the plant anywhere, but there was a sound of running water. Following the noise of what sounded like a river, she headed into an area with some scattered trees.

"That's it Drynin!" She heard her father's voice and jumped behind the closest tree, peeking out to see her little brother clumsily holding a fishing pole beside her father, and Gaffer beside them at a river a little ways away from where she was hiding. Switching to a bush for a hiding place, Bryn sat down and watched the male bonding for a while. Seeing the three hobbits made her smile, and she couldn't help but laugh when Gaffer fell back on his rear end because the fish he was trying to real in broke the rope on the fishing pole.

But Bryn didn't want to disturb their "bonding", so she silently slipped away from the three hobbits.

Eventually she wandered through some trees and into a field enclosed by the thin woods on one side, and that stretched on and on with grass on the other. Sitting down and gazing into the distance, she could just make out the thin blue line that was the Brandywine River. The last time she was in Buckland she had come for Merry's birthday. That same day Pippin decided to give himself as a present to Merry; she could still remember Merry's face when Pippin jumped out of the box… Bryn laughed at these memories, feeling her heart lift just a little more from the place it had fallen since the fire.

Laying down upon the grass and staring up at the sky, Bryn let herself be completely consumed in memories; reliving laughs from her childhood. This led to her memories of watching clouds with Samwise as a child; what she was doing now. Thinking more about this, she found herself lost in thoughts of Sam. S_hould I be thinking about him right now? Maybe I should have stayed home and helped with the sewing... but then again I might have slowed them down… I wonder what he thinks. Does he know when I stopped thinking of him as just a friend? When did I stop thinking of him as just a friend? Am I more to him? Does he think of me as just the childhood friend and nothing more? But if that's all it ever will be I'm still happy to be so close with him… _Bryn rolled over and pressed her face into the moist grass; trying to shut out her thoughts that were just leading to more and more questions and a headache.

"Now how long have I been here for?" she thought aloud. Judging by the sun's position in the sky, she guessed it had been about two hours since she left the Gamgee dwelling. She decided to head back, she hoped Sam would be hope from Bag End by now, but she really had no clue how long it would take.

As she was walking back she did one last quick scan for Heaven's Mirror, but sadly still couldn't spot any.

"Hello?" Bryn called, stepping through the round door of the dwelling.

"We're in the back Bryn!" her mother's voice echoed from the back of the home; Bell's room. _They must be sewing, and it looks like the men are still out too... _that meant Sam was also still at Bag End. It was already mid-afternoon so Bryn decided she would make lunch.

"The boys are still out fishing but Sam will be home soon, just so you know!" Bell called from her room. Bryn's face lit up, happy Sam wasn't going to be away all day. She decided to make lunch for the both of them; two fresh crescent rolls, jam to go with them, mixed vegetables with potatoes, a few slices of ham, and a jug of lemonade; if it's one thing Hobbits were never short on, it was food. Just as she finished tossing the vegetables, the door opened and Sam walked in; face dirty and flushed from the afternoon sun.

"Smells delicious," he complemented.

"We can dig in right now if you're hungry, must have been tiring working in the sun since morning," Bryn offered. However Sam seemed more awake and full of energy now than he was in the morning.

"I am, but it's such a nice day out," he drifted off, avoiding her gaze and simply staring at the blue sky out the window. He seemed hesitant before he finally spoke. "Why don't we make it a picnic?"

"Oh Sam that's a great idea!" she agreed happily as she started to gather the food. Sam pulled out two wicker baskets from the top shelf and helped Bryn pack up their lunch.

"Where should we go?" Bryn asked once they had finished packing.

Sam pondered a bit before he answered. "I know the perfect place."

It took all of Bryn's restraint not to ask Sam where he was leading her. They had been walking for a while now, talking about the weather, why Sam didn't like water (which never really was explained in the end), gardening, and the little 'explorations' of the Shire they had gone on when they were little.

"Just for a little while," Sam spoke softly, coming up from behind her and gently resting his hands to cover her eyes. Bryn gasped a little at the sudden darkness, but started blushing madly when she realized it was Samwise. He led her, covering her eyes with one hand and taking her hand in the other. From what she could tell, they had headed mostly in a straight line, but a waved line, walking as if the ground was fragile in parts.

"We're here," Sam said as he removed his hand from her eyes, however keeping his other entwined with hers. Blinking at the sunlight, Bryn gazed around to see hundreds of Heaven's Mirror surrounding them. It seemed as if patches of grass were scattered about the flowers, rather than flowers growing through the grass. She wanted to say how perfect it was, but couldn't find the words.

"Do you like it?" Samwise asked tentatively.

"Oh Sam, I love it," she replied breathlessly. Sam sat down, and Bryn did the same for she did not want to let go of his grasp. They began to unpack the food, laying it out on the patch of grass they were seated on.

All the while they ate, Sam constantly complemented her on how good the food was, while she replied with a blush and a reply of how amazing the meadow was.

Once they had finished, they both laid down facing the sky.

"There, that one there's a pony," Bryn pointed to a horse-shaped cloud.

"And that one," Sam pointed to another. "Is an Oliphant."

"An Oliphant? You mean from the stories?" Bryn asked.

"Yes, remember the one about the Thundering Plains?" Sam reminded, face lighting up in mention of the story. Sam had always loved tales of far off places and creatures. Hey fascinated him, to know things so different and wonderful might exist out in Middle Earth.

Bryn laughed seeing his expression. It reminded her of the times when they were little; every time Samwise would hear a new story he would excitedly tell it to Bryn as soon as he saw her.

"Bryn? If you don't mind me asking… what are you thinking about?" Sam asked quietly after a little while of Bryn simply staring at the sky, lost in memories.

"I'm just remembering," she smiled over at him.

"Remembering?"

"Times when we were younger," she drifted off, staring up at the clouds that looked like white paint splashed across the sky's blue canvas.

"You know," Sam started, sitting up and gazing at the sky as well. "I don't think much has changed since then. Or rather, back then, I didn't care much about changes and such; it only mattered that you were by my side. And now, things have been changing all around me, but you're still Bryn and you're still here so I'm happy." He turned his head to look at her but was met with her lips against his own. Sam pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. They broke apart, but Sam pulled her closer once more and kissed her lovingly. Bryn let herself melt into his arms, and didn't leave them when their lips parted.

"I wish you could stay with us longer," Sam whispered after a while of blissful silence. Bryn murmured an agreement and snuggled closer in his embrace.

"I don't know where we will go," she spoke softly. "I don't even know if we can afford a new home," she whispered into his shirt. "Wait, I'm so sorry! I don't know why I just said that, I didn't mean to complain, I was just thinking and-"

"Shh.." he cut her off and kissed the top of her head. "Everyone needs to tell someone their problems once in a while, nobody can go through things like this alone. It'll be alright, I'll always be here with you and I won't let no harm come to you or your family. You're all going to be alright Bryn," he soothed, taking her hand and staring down at her with his chocolate brown eyes. Sighing, he continued, "Bryn, you're always so strong, never complaining, taking things without breaking courage. And on top of that you always look out for your brother. It's fine to cry, it's fine to take someone's hand when you can't help yourself up."

Sam had never said anything like this to her before, never been so straightforwardly thoughtful. She could always see when he was thinking these things deep in his eyes, but he had never dared to speak them aloud. Feeling a single tear slip down her cheek, Bryn threw her arms around Sam and buried her head in his shirt; lost in the woodsy smell of the hobbit she loved so much. "Come on, let's go home," Sam said and tucked a heaven's mirror into Bryn's hair. She nodded, and took his hand as they made their way through the blue-flecked field.

The door to the Gamgee's was just ahead and Bryn looked worriedly up at Sam, wary of just walking in holding hands. His expression mirrored hers for a split moment, but it then turned to one of determination and he grasped her hand tighter. She nodded in response and let him lead her into the home.

"Oh, you two are back," Bell greeted, brushing her hands on her apron as she emerged from the back hall. "Bryn, your mother is with Drynin at the moment and…" she trailed off, noticing their entwined hands. Bryn grasped Sam's hand tighter as she felt her stomach do little flips. Bell's blank expression was soon replaced with a huge smile and she pulled both of them into a hug. She released them just as Bryn's mother and Drynin came in from the room Bryn and Drynin shared. Drynin's face lit up and he ran over to the two and hugged onto Bryn's leg.

"Do you love Sammy?" he asked Bryn, using the nickname he had created for Sam as soon as he had learned to talk. "And you love Bryn?" He asked Sam before she even had a chance to reply. Bryn let go of Sam's hand and picked up Drynin.

"Yes Drin," she smiled at him.

"I do," Sam answered. Drynin's face lit up and he clapped his hands. Bryn laughed and set him down, watching as he ran towards the garden out back, his quick footsteps making echoes off the walls.

"Come on!" he called from outside. Bryn smiled and took Sam's hand as they ran to join Drynin in the warm, wonderful afternoon.

…

Bryn lay awake, staring at the ceiling. She could hear her brother's soft snores from across the room and the parents' voices coming from the main room. Her father was a bit baffled when her mother had whispered the news of her and Sam in his ear at the dinner table, but after a little while he smiled over at Bryn and winked.

_I knew it would be big news to them, but not this big. They're treating it like we just got married, had three children, and bought a new home to settle in. _Her thoughts of marriage made her cheeks flush in the darkness and she shoved her head under the pillow; trying to block out her own thoughts that were definitely not helping her fall asleep.

"So did you get any more news of that dwelling in Buckland?" Bryn heard Gaffer say and she shot up, causing the pillow to fall to the floor.

"Yes, they told us they would lower the price because they heard of the accident. We didn't even ask, how kind of them," her mother's smile could be heard in her voice, and it made Bryn feel sick. Merry lived in Buckland and they only got to see him about twice a year. If she moved there… Her and Sam finally admitted their love for each other, and now they would be ripped apart. She hadn't held his hand long enough, felt his embrace long enough, the way his lips felt against hers… she didn't want that feeling to become a forgotten one.

Maybe if she hadn't known Sam all her life, and loved him since she was old enough to understand, then she wouldn't have been so affected. But she had, she did, so she wasn't surprised felt a tear slip down her cheek, followed by many more. Her head was killing her and she felt like she was about to burst; so she followed her heart and slipped silently out of her bedroom window and ran. She ran without breaking, searching for her treasured place. She guessed the direction and luckily found the scattered sky-coloured flowers that covered the meadow.

Collapsing, Bryn let the sobs rack her body. She felt stupid and weak for crying like this, but she couldn't help it. She let loose the tears she had been holding back for as long as she could remember. She cried for her and Sam's love that would so soon be ripped apart, she cried for her brother and the fire in their former home that was now only a pile of ashes and wreckage, she cried because she missed Pippin and Merry and their siblings she hadn't seen in so long, and she cried because it was just too hard to hold in anymore.

She remembered Sam's words from that afternoon: _It's fine to cry, it's fine to take someone's hand when you can't help yourself up. _She wanted Samwise to be with her right now, she wanted his strong arms to wrap around her and never let go, she wanted him to kiss her tears away. Then she thought of what he had said before that, _It'll be alright, I'll always be here with you. _

_Will he really be, even when I'm away from him? _She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and took off running, back in the direction she came from.

"Sam," she whispered, lightly knocking on his bedroom window.

"Bryn? What are you doing outside this late? Is something the matter? Are you okay?" Sam questioned worriedly as he leaned over the window. But before she could answer any of his questions, he saw the red in her eyes from crying and hopped out onto the grass and took her hand. He pulled her gently, leading her away from the house and into the garden. "Come here," he said softly and pulled her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her. "What is it?"

"I overheard my parents say that we were going to move to a new home in Buckland," Bryn whispered.

"Buckland? But it's so far… I would barely see you…" he stared sadly with wide, horrified eyes. Bryn couldn't help but notice he hadn't added something like, _and your family_, with a blush like he usually would have.

"I don't want to leave, but I do not know what I can do," she desperately said in a soft voice. Sam kissed the top of her head and let his lips rest there as he thought in the silence.

"Would you stay if you could, even if it meant being away from your family?" Bryn looked up at him with wide eyes and thought for a split second before she nodded. Sam smiled and pulled her so she was standing before he kneeled and picked a heaven's mirror from the garden.

"Bryn," he held out the flower towards her as he gazed into her eyes. "Will you marry me? Once we have grown enough for marriage, I want you to be my bride. In the meantime, would you live with me in our own home?"

"Yes!" Bryn took the flower from his hands and threw her arms around his neck. Sam grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her lovingly.

...

Bryn smiled as Sam came in through the open, round front door.

"How was the family?" Bryn asked, giving him a welcoming hug.

"Oh they're good, Ma's expanded her flower garden," he told her, taking a seat at their kitchen table.

"I think I might go see my family tomorrow, Drynin told me to come back soon," she smiled. Sam nodded and got up to water the pot of heaven's mirror that they had placed in the center of the table.

The new home they were living in was half way between their two family's dwellings, just by the Bucklebury Ferry. It took a bit of convincing, but their parents both agreed fairly easily to their plan of moving, and of course to their future marriage.

The evening sunlight pored in through the window, filling the room with an orange glow. Bryn stood up and took Sam's hand as they moved to the window to watch the sunset; something they did daily.

"It's going to be a long wait until we are married," Bryn sighed as the sliver that could be seen of the sun disappeared below a grassy hill. Sam gave a slight nod, watching the sky slowly turn from orange and pink to cooler, blue and purple tones.

"But in the meantime," he tucked a loose strand of Bryn's hair behind her ear. They gazed into each other's eyes with matching smiles for a moment before Sam leaned in and kissed her. The kiss contained all of their love, and Bryn leaned closer as Samwise grasped both of her hands; entwining their fingers, and their hearts.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it and please review!<strong>


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